Kay Kay

It was confusing and I think you should add more detail to inform the reader of what exactly happened instead of just leaving it at "Before my brother was dead" ...

The way you kept going of what she was doing line by line it didn't really fit to me. In my opinion, I think maybe you should add more detail ...

I loved it. I agree with The Black Rose on the repitition, it was good. I would work on making the second stanza rhyme so that it would make the ...

The poem was about me! LOL it's funny Meagan. Like I told you before I'm not going to crit it because it won't be as funny that way. Besides I'd ...

I got your pm!! Okay let's see what I can do... I recopied it so that I can show you where the errors and stuff are. I'll put that stuff ...

YOU WROTE: The clouds were a ghostly grey and threating to spill rain at any moment, perhaps he should head back to the school. He attended Balamb, a school set ...

First...uh...her eyes wide with...what exactly? There's lotz of typos. I think I'm a little behind on some of the chapters so I'll read those to see what is exactly going ...

I like it. I think it was really creative to actually make it a letter...it's cool. My favorite part was: I do hope you will not worry though. I remember ...

You did a really good job on this...I agree with them. There are alot of mispelled words and then there are all the things that Shadowdancer commented on. Those were ...

I loved it. Good job on writing it. My favorite part was: But you’re so beautiful, and forbidden. I need you, for this one moment, I need you. I hate ...

I'm going to crit both. Word of advise though, when you post another chapter put it in a new post so the people who critted chp one will crit 2 ...

Paid? LOL i think you enjoyed writing it.... Anyways, i liked this part: You are the show, the show is unmissable and if you like it, it will run for ...

Good job Sam! Nice star wars line...i was thinking the same thing about luke i am your father. Anyways i think the story is going very well and of course ...

Good job Yoshi! I liked it. Really i did. The only things i saw that didnt' seem to fit was using the word reduce and the paragraph before the last ...

It's not really something i'm into but i'll help the best i can. I found a few spelling errors and punctuation that you might want to go back and fix. ...